Beginning the Process

Yesterday, I discussed how competitive cultures naturally create anxiety. Of course, anxiety isn't always a bad thing. In some cases, it motivates us to be more productive. However, there is a difference between trying to motivate yourself toward productivity and feeling intensely uncomfortable or worried because you do not feel worthy. If you wake up each day with the overwhelming sense that something needs to be done to make things better, but have no idea what that something is, it can be debilitating. A deep, despairing depression can result from it.

My study of philosophy has been a double-edged sword because although it has helped me work through complicated subjects to develop an overarching game plan, it can also be somewhat abstract and alienating to friends and family with whom I wish to share. Thus, this blog is dedicated to explaining those concepts in plain English, so that I may share what has worked for me with a wider audience.

Most people think of their lives as journeys, as progressions along some directional path. We spend most of the journey expecting to arrive somewhere, anticipating some payoff or grand conclusion. As a result, expectations cause anxiety both when expectations don't match outcomes, and when we fear what may happen.

I am an intensely-driven person who also happens to have a serious mental illness. I have tried various projects to employ the wisdom I have gained from my experience to some practical ends. The results never match my expectations. And so, I have decided to take my greatest skill–writing–and just do it without expectations. I don’t know what is going to be the result. It doesn’t necessarily need to lead to anything. In fact, maybe it’s better that it doesn’t, so that I am able to teach myself to live the philosophy that I preach.

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